Cooking Caveman with Jeff Nimoy

THESE ARE THE COOKING ADVENTURES OF JEFF NIMOY, AN LA WRITER WHO, WHILE DOING RESEARCH FOR A SCRIPT, STUMBLED UPON WHAT’S CALLED THE CAVEMAN DIET, ALSO KNOWN AS THE PALEO DIET. BASICALLY, IT’S EATING WHAT THE CAVEMEN ATE. HE TRIED IT OUT, AND THE RESULTS HAVE BEEN STAGGERING! THIS BLOG SHOWS EXACTLY HOW AND WHAT JEFF EATS. IF YOU’RE NEW TO THE BLOG, PLEASE START WITH THE “ENTERING THE CAVE” PAGE TO GET A CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT.

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girly-geek-138 asked: Quinoa. Grain, or legume? Is it even paleo? I've been cooking with it for a while but realized I know next to nothing about it.

According to Mark Sisson of Mark’s Daily Apple, quinoa is a seed. But I don’t eat it because it doesn’t match my paleo rules. If you can’t eat it raw, I don’t cook with it. And you have to soak and sprout quinoa if you want to eat it raw, which means I can’t pick it from the ground and eat it. Besides, it has a lot of empty carbs, much like rice. People casually think that because it has so much protein it’s paleo, but like you, they know very little about it. By the way, we don’t need as much protein to live as people think, in fact, you can get all your protein from green leafy plants if you wanted to.

I prefer to use cauliflower rice, or broccoli rice instead of things like quinoa, couscous, or rice.

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Anonymous asked: Know any good paleo oatless oatmeal- one without coconut (I get the runs) and nut butters (allergic)?

That’s a tough one without nuts and/or coconut. Is it all coconut products and nuts in general, or just coconut flesh and nut butter? Because everything I’ve seen has some nut and/or coconut milk, etc. Here’s the one I shared with my readers from the now defunct killfatme blog:

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup chopped walnuts or pecans
  • 3 TB ground flaxseed (adds some texture too)
  • 2 tsp ground cinnamon 
  • 2 bananas, mashed 
  • 4 whole eggs
  • 1 cup coconut milk
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Directions:

  • Beat the eggs 
  • Whisk the coconut milk into the egg mixture
  • Mix in the chopped nuts, ground flax, banana mash, vanilla extract, and cinnamon
  • In a saucepan, warm the mixture on the stove over medium heat
  • Stir frequently to mix up any remaining lumps, and keep stirring until the “oatmeal” reaches the desired consistency (mine took about 5 mins)
  • Serve with berries, or whatever else you want to add to your oatless oatmeal!

To replace the coconut maybe use mashed pumpkin, butternut squash, or something similar in texture? To replace the nuts, just omit the nuts. Maybe add pumpkin seeds? You can replace the coconut milk with straight water, or almond milk if you’re not allergic. But my best advice is to Google search PALEO OATMEAL and see what you find. Good luck!

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This is a great little summer meal. Some boneless skinless chicken thighs (organic, but not pasture-raised), covered in a Mexican dry spice rub, and grilled or pan-fried (about 5 minutes each side on medium high heat). Served with a cold cucumber noodle salad with some Mexican flare!
Mexican Dry Spice Rubcumingarlic powderonion powdercorianderblack pepperoreganoparsley
Mexican Cucumber Noodle Saladspiralized cucumberdiced tomatoesdiced avocadoscallionschopped garliccilantroserrano pepperlime juice

This is a great little summer meal. Some boneless skinless chicken thighs (organic, but not pasture-raised), covered in a Mexican dry spice rub, and grilled or pan-fried (about 5 minutes each side on medium high heat). Served with a cold cucumber noodle salad with some Mexican flare!

Mexican Dry Spice Rub
cumin
garlic powder
onion powder
coriander
black pepper
oregano
parsley

Mexican Cucumber Noodle Salad
spiralized cucumber
diced tomatoes
diced avocado
scallions
chopped garlic
cilantro
serrano pepper
lime juice

Filed under cucumber noodles mexican cucumber noodle salad mexican dry spice rub mexican spice rub cold noodle salad paleo caveman organic

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Anonymous asked: got the mayo…amazing I might add. I copied part of the ketchup but didn't get it all. Can't seem to find it in recipes. Thanks. Beginning this experience and love your site! You are making it seem as if I can really do this! Hoping that my joint pain, lethargy and thickness around my middle will be a part of my past…thanks for the help

Congrats on making the decision to go paleo, and good luck, I’m glad I could help! Cutting out salt (even natural organic salt) will go a long way in helping your joint pain too! It takes a few days for your taste buds to come back (a few bland meals for sure), but once they do, everything will taste amazing!

Here’s a LINK to my ketchup video.

And if you can’t find something on my RECIPES PAGE, just do a simple search on my home page for KETCHUP, or whatever you’re looking for, and you’ll find it sooner or later.

Good luck!

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I’ve been totally into cold cucumber salads for dinner this summer (all 9 days of it so far). I just sort of see what leftovers and items I have in the fridge and then try to compose a tasty dish (like Paleo Chopped with no time limits and no judges).
This was like a cold Thai Cucumber Salad, and it was freaking delicious!
cucumber noodlesscallionssliced sausage (in this case it was grass-fed beef bratwurst)fresh gingerfresh garlicserrano pepperfresh cilantrofresh basilcoconut aminos
I’m thrilled to announce that so far this year’s crop of serrano peppers are hot and spicy, unlike my first crop from last summer.

I’ve been totally into cold cucumber salads for dinner this summer (all 9 days of it so far). I just sort of see what leftovers and items I have in the fridge and then try to compose a tasty dish (like Paleo Chopped with no time limits and no judges).

This was like a cold Thai Cucumber Salad, and it was freaking delicious!

cucumber noodles
scallions
sliced sausage (in this case it was grass-fed beef bratwurst)
fresh ginger
fresh garlic
serrano pepper
fresh cilantro
fresh basil
coconut aminos

I’m thrilled to announce that so far this year’s crop of serrano peppers are hot and spicy, unlike my first crop from last summer.

Filed under thai cucumber salad paleo caveman organic All Ingredients All Organic All the Time

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Anonymous asked: recipe for paleo mayo???

Ask, and ye shall receive. Enjoy the video.

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TMI Alert: Paleo is Food Going In, and Coming Out.

Paleo is not just about eating real food, it’s a lifestyle to live more like the way our bodies were designed to live. Somehow over the years we lost our way with our designed diet, so those of us on paleo are trying to get back to a diet that fits human beings for optimum health.

Well, somewhere along the way, we changed the way we poop too. We used to squat, and the muscles and organs in our body would be in a optimal position to eliminate our waste. But over the course of civilization, we created outhouses, and toilets (not coincidentally by an Englishman named Thomas Crapper), and we lost our natural pooping way! I don’t think caveman had hemorrhoids, because squatting helps prevents them. Of course cavemen also didn’t have toilet paper, so it’s a trade off: no hemorrhoids, but a smelly itchy ass.

Well, today we can have our poop and wipe it too! Some of you know I’m a Howard Stern Superfan, and one of his main sponsors is Squatty Potty. All Squatty Potty is, is a plastic (or wooden) stool (pardon the pun), that allows you to keep our original cavemen squatting position, and still poop in the toilet. Here’s a 2 minute informational video from their website.

Pretty fascinating when you think about it. All our muscles and organs are in the right position for pooping when we squat! You eliminate more, and no more hemorrhoids or fissures. Very paleo if you ask me.

Now, I am NOT a shill for Squatty Potty! In fact, there’s no way I’m paying $25 for a piece of plastic to help me poop! But I did buy a $4 plastic stool from Target that is about the same height, and I started using it every time I went to make a #2 (We’re Number 2! We’re Number 2!). And it works! I took a trip to Cancun about 10 years ago, and had some mystery meat one night for dinner off a street vendor (I think it was goat). It was absolutely delicious, but it gave me the shits for about a month. After that month I developed a hemorrhoid, and have been suffering ever since. But after a couple of weeks of squatting, my hemorrhoid is gone, and my bowl overflows with joy (and poop)! I feel emptier than my iPhone battery after a 3 minute call!

So squat, or don’t, I really don’t give a shit, but trust me, if you squat, you’ll give more shit than you ever gave in your life. Happy Pooping! (Ugga-Poopa?)

Filed under squatty potty paleo pooping paleopooping caveman cavemanpooping

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Anonymous asked: Is there another site where we can contact you and ask questions regarding your voice acting career? I don't want to do it here because 1) you're kind of intimidating and I don't want to make you mad. And 2) I don't want to disrupt your cooking page.

Lol. I’m not mad at you, Anon, just sometimes your anonymous brethren ask some pretty silly questions, and I like to have fun at their expense. But I think this is a very good idea, and very considerate of you not to disrupt my cooking blog with anime questions. So I’m going to start a new blog, and you can tell all your anonymous friends it was your idea!

The blog is live now, and it’s called Jeff Nimoy’s Anime Q&A (http://jeffnimoyanime.tumblr.com). I don’t know how much time I’ll have to answer questions (and some fans never stop asking, which can get a little annoying), but I’ll try to answer when I can (and what I can remember, I haven’t worked in anime for years). And you can always hit me up on twitter too @jeffnimoy if you have a question I can answer in 140 characters or less.

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Anonymous asked: Happy late Birthday to you man! Your one of the few people I've seen who has the same as me. June 25th :)

Thanks Anon. Happy late birthday to you too!

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Anonymous asked: Have you ever tried making a paleo pizza? I;ve found some recipes that aren't really paleo- they use dairy (cheese or milk!).

I have tried, but not for a long time. You can check out my most successful experiment HERE.

But that was way back when all I had was my original paleo bread recipe, which was flat and dry, and made for a much better matzoh ball than it ever did bread. I’ve read a lot of paleo pizza recipes using all kinds of crusts like cauliflower, but they’ve never held for me. Since I don’t eat cheese, I’ve just given over to the fact that I’d rather have great pizza on a cheat day, than mediocre pizza on paleo.

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Anonymous asked: My gift: Cauliflower Buns- Shred some cauliflower and combine with either 1 egg (or flax egg), seasonings of choice, and (optional) 1/4 cup flour (coconut, almond, whatever you want!). A great way to sneak in some veggies. :)

Thanks for sharing! I’ll give it a try soon!

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Anonymous asked: What foods did caveman eat before fire

Well, the simple answer is, Anon, they ate everything. If they found out something was inedible, they spit it out, and taught their children not to bother with it anymore. But they still ate meat, mostly as scavengers. Shortly after discovering fire, they discovered pasta salad, which went great with the first burgers and hot dogs of the primitive BBQ gatherings. It wasn’t until the Neanderthal era that gas grills and potato salad were introduced. Archeologists recently uncovered a four million year old spatula, which still had traces of London Broil on it.

By the way, Anon, you can find out these answers the same way I did, by looking them up for yourself, you lazy bastard. Google even sounds like a caveman word doesn’t it? Ugga-Bugga Google!

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harktothestars asked: Hey, great blog! I've begun the clean/paleo lifestyle as I'm a distance runner looking to lose some weight (I'm 5'2" and 115) and rebuild lean muscle. I've been eating fresh fruits, veggies, lean meats, etc and have lost 15lbs in a month. Now I feel a bit stuck with meal options. I'm anaphylactic to tree nuts AND coconut (even trace amts), which are huge in the paleo world. My meals are too repetitive/bland. Any suggestions on some ramped up meals/sides that are flavorful w/out nuts or coconut?

First of all, good for you! Congrats on the lifestyle change, and the weight loss. But don’t give up because you’re feeling stuck with meal options after just one month. If you look at my recipes page, you’ll see that almonds, other nuts, and coconuts only make up a small portion of ingredients in the almost 300 dishes I’ve shared with my readers. The other paleo ingredients available to you are endless! You’re only limited to your imagination, and your access to ingredients.

Feel free to raid my recipes page, which I update almost every weekend, and it shouldn’t be hard to find ideas that you’ll enjoy. If a recipe calls for coconut flour as a thickener, use arrowroot instead. If it calls for coconut oil, use any other paleo fat you prefer, like olive oil, avocado oil, and healthy animal fat.

I don’t have any bread or breading recipes without almonds or coconut flour, but I’m sure there are plenty online, all you need to do is research them with a google search. That’s what I’d do.

And perhaps my readers have some recipes for breads and such without almond or coconut flour. If you folks do, please post them in the comments, and help this poor bastard out!

Thanks for reading, and keep up the paleo lifestyle, you’re doing great, it gets easier as you go!