I’m declaring this last batch of almond butter bread as the winner of my 2+ years searching for a decent paleo bread substitute.  The first time I made it, I still had some problems (like it kept falling apart), but I tweaked the recipe, and now I finally have a bread that is tasty, doesn’t fall apart, and for the very first time, tastes as good toasted as it does NOT toasted (previously, it was only enjoyable toasted).  As evidenced here by this tuna and avocado sandwich (all organic):

Fantastic to have sandwiches again!  You don’t realize how many sandwiches one actually eats on a modern diet until you give up bread!  Well, now paleo has bread too, proving once again, dieting does not mean deprivation!  Perfect for people on gluten-free diets.  For those with almond allergies though, not so perfect (sorry, but I hear good things about cauliflower bread if you want to look it up on your own, you almond allergic lazy bastards).

Here’s my tweaked recipe for the perfect loaf of paleo-ish bread (based on a 9x5x3 loaf pan or slightly smaller):

4 or 5 pasture raised eggs (depending on the size, if they’re huge, use 4, if small, use 5)
1 1/2 cups of organic almond butter
1 1/2 tablespoons of organic lemon juice
3/4 teaspoon of baking soda (which turns it from paleo to paleo-ish).

Bake at 350 for 30-60 minutes, depending on oven shitiness.

And that’s it.  I was again amazed at how such a thick substance like almond butter could get such a fluffy rise in a bread, but it works!

Any future attempts at banana bread, and french toast will now start and end with this recipe. The search is finally over!  The Caveman Minions can now all let out a collected sigh of relief, and exclaim throughout the land, “The Bread is dead, long live the Bread!”  Or as we say in Caveman speak, “Ugga-Bugga!”

EDIT FROM CAVEMAN OF THE FUTURE:

Check out this video I made on how to make this bread: