Cooking Caveman with Jeff Nimoy

THESE ARE THE COOKING ADVENTURES OF JEFF NIMOY, AN LA WRITER WHO, WHILE DOING RESEARCH FOR A SCRIPT, STUMBLED UPON WHAT’S CALLED THE CAVEMAN DIET, ALSO KNOWN AS THE PALEO DIET. BASICALLY, IT’S EATING WHAT THE CAVEMEN ATE. HE TRIED IT OUT, AND THE RESULTS HAVE BEEN STAGGERING! THIS BLOG SHOWS EXACTLY HOW AND WHAT JEFF EATS. IF YOU’RE NEW TO THE BLOG, PLEASE START WITH THE “ENTERING THE CAVE” PAGE TO GET A CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT.

Posts tagged caveman

6 notes

Chili Dog (made from grass-fed beef) with organic mustard and organic kraut on an eggplant tortilla. Sounds weird but it was good. Not as satisfying as a homemade paleo bun, but still decent. The experiment I did last week of using a baked eggplant slice as a tortilla for tacos was so successful that I thought I’d try it as a hot dog bun. But I think the eggplant works better in a taco. Although the sweetness and soft texture of the eggplant made me remininscnet of baked beans, which of course go perfectly with hot dogs and chili, so this was a wonderful taste sensation. The problem was the eggplant fell apart, and I hate messy food. Still, I’ve been craving a chili dog, and this was very satisfying!

Chili Dog (made from grass-fed beef) with organic mustard and organic kraut on an eggplant tortilla. Sounds weird but it was good. Not as satisfying as a homemade paleo bun, but still decent. The experiment I did last week of using a baked eggplant slice as a tortilla for tacos was so successful that I thought I’d try it as a hot dog bun. But I think the eggplant works better in a taco. Although the sweetness and soft texture of the eggplant made me remininscnet of baked beans, which of course go perfectly with hot dogs and chili, so this was a wonderful taste sensation. The problem was the eggplant fell apart, and I hate messy food. Still, I’ve been craving a chili dog, and this was very satisfying!

Filed under chili dog paleo caveman grass-fed hot dog grass fed hot dog organ meat All Ingredients All Organic All the Time eggplant

16 notes

How the Paleolithic Diet Got Trendy

If you’re like me, every time an article on paleo comes out, everyone you know sends it to you. Well, here’s another bullshit article on paleo, this time from the New Yorker. The writer admits she did a half-assed attempt at paleo for only a week, and fucked up her pancakes recipe, so she pisses on the whole diet. The fact that she says she only had a limited amount of things she was allowed to eat, and that the list of things she couldn’t eat was longer, makes me realize she has no fucking idea what she’s talking about. The amount of food available on paleo is ENDLESS! Every single vegetable and edible animal is available. Idiot.

Also, she did not mention organic food once! And the fact that she makes this statement, tells me once and for all to never read anything she ever writes again:

(Grass-fed beef—recommended by many primal enthusiasts—may produce lower emissions than corn-fed, but the evidence on this is shaky.)

I think the only thing shaky is her lazy research. The one thing she gets right is the history of agriculture. Other than that, this article is a bunch of cave-shit.

Filed under new yorker paleo caveman organic

11 notes

You Can Shop Paleo Even if You Don’t Cook!

I hear so many people tell me they can’t do paleo because they don’t cook. I say there’s a simple solution: start cooking, you lazy bastard. The real answer is, “I WON’T cook.” At least I can respect the honesty in that answer. But even the most laziest of bastards will cook a little if it’s made easier for them. Here are some tips for that.

Shop at farmers markets and smaller health food stores. There are all kind of stores and farmers market vendors selling foods that are pre-made from real ingredients, unlike your typical frozen dinner. And these are local peeps, businesses you should be supporting, bringing fresh and real food to your table. For instance, at my Studio City farmers market there’s a vendor called Savour This Sauce. Yes, you guessed right, they make sauces. Great sauces. Vegan and gluten-free sauces and dressings. They buy all of their ingredients at the same farmers market where they sell, and it’s all organic (or at least made from ingredients that are grown with organic practices without the government red tape to get certified). These sauces, aside from a small amount of vinegar and salt, are 100% paleo, so if I didn’t want to cook a sauce from scratch, I could just buy a jar of theirs and my cooking time would be cut in half or more! You won’t find sauces like these in the huge traditional supermarket chains, you have to go to Whole Foods, or smaller health food markets or farmers markets. So if you won’t cook, change your store to make life easier on you. Some even have fully prepared meals that are pretty paleo, but you HAVE TO READ THE INGREDIENTS to make sure!

Visit organic salad bars. Most Whole Foods have organic salad bars, and you can buy some pre-chopped items for a stir fry. Take it home, throw it all together in a pan with a Savour This Sauce type of sauce, and with minimal effort, you’ve cooked a meal. It might even inspire you to buy a chef’s knife and do some chopping yourself.

Buy a crockpot. You can buy a package of organic chicken, get some pre-chopped veggies from the organic salad bar, throw it into a crock pot with some Savour This Sauce type of sauce, and in a few hours, you’ve cooked a meal! No, it’s not some crazy meal I’ve made with paleo coconut rice that you’re photographing for a blog, but it’s a meal, and a damn good one!

Join a service that sends you food that’s already chopped and measured, with simple cooking instructions. This is a bit pricey, but you can choose meals that are paleo-ish, and it’ll give you amazing confidence in the kitchen.

Cooking a simple meal successfully is a great motivator in trying more and more complicated dishes. But don’t feel you need to. Cooking a simple meal is greatly satisfying, even if it comes off a little… um… off. Trust me, you’ll find that after a while of making simple meals, you’ll grow more and more confident in the kitchen, and you’ll realize the only thing that stopped you from cooking before was the intimidation of not knowing. And by the way, cooking at home saves a TON of money, even if you’re buying organic. Happy cooking!

Filed under paleo cooking paleo caveman organic paleo shopping

14 notes

Mexican Beef Stir Fry over Broccoli Rice.
I’m trying to eat more organ meat because it’s really good for you, but I’m just not thrilled with the taste. But I find when it’s ground, and mixed with ground beef (all grass-fed from Uncured Natural Meats in Wisconsin), it’s very tasty. This is a blend of ground beef, ground tongue, ground heart, and ground liver.
ground grass-fed beef (including ground organ meat)onionsgarlicred and green jalapeñoscilantroblack peppercuminoreganolime juicelemon juice
broccoli (rice)

Mexican Beef Stir Fry over Broccoli Rice.

I’m trying to eat more organ meat because it’s really good for you, but I’m just not thrilled with the taste. But I find when it’s ground, and mixed with ground beef (all grass-fed from Uncured Natural Meats in Wisconsin), it’s very tasty. This is a blend of ground beef, ground tongue, ground heart, and ground liver.

ground grass-fed beef (including ground organ meat)
onions
garlic
red and green jalapeños
cilantro
black pepper
cumin
oregano
lime juice
lemon juice

broccoli (rice)

Filed under mexican stir fry grass-fed grass fed paleo organic organ meat caveman broccoli rice

35 notes

This is a great little summer meal. Some boneless skinless chicken thighs (organic, but not pasture-raised), covered in a Mexican dry spice rub, and grilled or pan-fried (about 5 minutes each side on medium high heat). Served with a cold cucumber noodle salad with some Mexican flare!
Mexican Dry Spice Rubcumingarlic powderonion powdercorianderblack pepperoreganoparsley
Mexican Cucumber Noodle Saladspiralized cucumberdiced tomatoesdiced avocadoscallionschopped garliccilantroserrano pepperlime juice

This is a great little summer meal. Some boneless skinless chicken thighs (organic, but not pasture-raised), covered in a Mexican dry spice rub, and grilled or pan-fried (about 5 minutes each side on medium high heat). Served with a cold cucumber noodle salad with some Mexican flare!

Mexican Dry Spice Rub
cumin
garlic powder
onion powder
coriander
black pepper
oregano
parsley

Mexican Cucumber Noodle Salad
spiralized cucumber
diced tomatoes
diced avocado
scallions
chopped garlic
cilantro
serrano pepper
lime juice

Filed under cucumber noodles mexican cucumber noodle salad mexican dry spice rub mexican spice rub cold noodle salad paleo caveman organic

25 notes

I’ve been totally into cold cucumber salads for dinner this summer (all 9 days of it so far). I just sort of see what leftovers and items I have in the fridge and then try to compose a tasty dish (like Paleo Chopped with no time limits and no judges).
This was like a cold Thai Cucumber Salad, and it was freaking delicious!
cucumber noodlesscallionssliced sausage (in this case it was grass-fed beef bratwurst)fresh gingerfresh garlicserrano pepperfresh cilantrofresh basilcoconut aminos
I’m thrilled to announce that so far this year’s crop of serrano peppers are hot and spicy, unlike my first crop from last summer.

I’ve been totally into cold cucumber salads for dinner this summer (all 9 days of it so far). I just sort of see what leftovers and items I have in the fridge and then try to compose a tasty dish (like Paleo Chopped with no time limits and no judges).

This was like a cold Thai Cucumber Salad, and it was freaking delicious!

cucumber noodles
scallions
sliced sausage (in this case it was grass-fed beef bratwurst)
fresh ginger
fresh garlic
serrano pepper
fresh cilantro
fresh basil
coconut aminos

I’m thrilled to announce that so far this year’s crop of serrano peppers are hot and spicy, unlike my first crop from last summer.

Filed under thai cucumber salad paleo caveman organic All Ingredients All Organic All the Time

15 notes

TMI Alert: Paleo is Food Going In, and Coming Out.

Paleo is not just about eating real food, it’s a lifestyle to live more like the way our bodies were designed to live. Somehow over the years we lost our way with our designed diet, so those of us on paleo are trying to get back to a diet that fits human beings for optimum health.

Well, somewhere along the way, we changed the way we poop too. We used to squat, and the muscles and organs in our body would be in a optimal position to eliminate our waste. But over the course of civilization, we created outhouses, and toilets (not coincidentally by an Englishman named Thomas Crapper), and we lost our natural pooping way! I don’t think caveman had hemorrhoids, because squatting helps prevents them. Of course cavemen also didn’t have toilet paper, so it’s a trade off: no hemorrhoids, but a smelly itchy ass.

Well, today we can have our poop and wipe it too! Some of you know I’m a Howard Stern Superfan, and one of his main sponsors is Squatty Potty. All Squatty Potty is, is a plastic (or wooden) stool (pardon the pun), that allows you to keep our original cavemen squatting position, and still poop in the toilet. Here’s a 2 minute informational video from their website.

Pretty fascinating when you think about it. All our muscles and organs are in the right position for pooping when we squat! You eliminate more, and no more hemorrhoids or fissures. Very paleo if you ask me.

Now, I am NOT a shill for Squatty Potty! In fact, there’s no way I’m paying $25 for a piece of plastic to help me poop! But I did buy a $4 plastic stool from Target that is about the same height, and I started using it every time I went to make a #2 (We’re Number 2! We’re Number 2!). And it works! I took a trip to Cancun about 10 years ago, and had some mystery meat one night for dinner off a street vendor (I think it was goat). It was absolutely delicious, but it gave me the shits for about a month. After that month I developed a hemorrhoid, and have been suffering ever since. But after a couple of weeks of squatting, my hemorrhoid is gone, and my bowl overflows with joy (and poop)! I feel emptier than my iPhone battery after a 3 minute call!

So squat, or don’t, I really don’t give a shit, but trust me, if you squat, you’ll give more shit than you ever gave in your life. Happy Pooping! (Ugga-Poopa?)

Filed under squatty potty paleo pooping paleopooping caveman cavemanpooping

44 notes

Yes, my Paleo Pad Thai came out delicious this time around too! Here’s the updated recipe since the first time I made it.
PALEO PAD THAI (all ingredients, all organic, all the time)
Wild Caught ShrimpCaveman Ketchup (the secret ingredient that makes no sense)Carrot Noodles (made with a normal peeler)Cabbage (optional, thinly sliced for some crunch)Chicken Stock (not much, maybe a 1/4 cup)GarlicFreshly grated GingerCoconut Aminos (a few dashes)Crushed Red Pepper (optional)CilantroScallionsScrambled EggCrushed Nuts (this time I used almonds)Oil (olive or coconut, but this time I used carrot seed oil)A squeeze of lime to brighten it all up!
Simmer the carrot noodles and cabbage in some chicken stock until tender. In a separate pan, cook shrimp over high heat until seared on each side, just a few minutes on each side should do it. Once you flip the shrimp, add the garlic and ginger while the shrimp finish. You can also scramble the egg right into this mixture too. Once shrimp are done on both sides, add all ingredients into the shrimp pan, toss, and serve!

Yes, my Paleo Pad Thai came out delicious this time around too! Here’s the updated recipe since the first time I made it.

PALEO PAD THAI (all ingredients, all organic, all the time)

Wild Caught Shrimp
Caveman Ketchup (the secret ingredient that makes no sense)
Carrot Noodles (made with a normal peeler)
Cabbage (optional, thinly sliced for some crunch)
Chicken Stock (not much, maybe a 1/4 cup)
Garlic
Freshly grated Ginger
Coconut Aminos (a few dashes)
Crushed Red Pepper (optional)
Cilantro
Scallions
Scrambled Egg
Crushed Nuts (this time I used almonds)
Oil (olive or coconut, but this time I used carrot seed oil)
A squeeze of lime to brighten it all up!

Simmer the carrot noodles and cabbage in some chicken stock until tender. In a separate pan, cook shrimp over high heat until seared on each side, just a few minutes on each side should do it. Once you flip the shrimp, add the garlic and ginger while the shrimp finish. You can also scramble the egg right into this mixture too. Once shrimp are done on both sides, add all ingredients into the shrimp pan, toss, and serve!

Filed under paleo pad thai Pad Thai paleo caveman organic All Ingredients All Organic All the Time caveman ketchup

20 notes

My cousin gave me two jalapeño plants leftover from her new garden. So I planted them next to my rosemary. If I could get all the jalapeños I want on my own patio, I’d be in heaven! Grow, baby, grow!

My cousin gave me two jalapeño plants leftover from her new garden. So I planted them next to my rosemary. If I could get all the jalapeños I want on my own patio, I’d be in heaven! Grow, baby, grow!

Filed under organic paleo caveman