Posts tagged paleo
Posts tagged paleo
Paleo Sausage & Peppers Sandwich. A grass-fed beef brat from Uncured Natural Meats, red and green bell peppers, red and green jalapeños, yellow onion, garlic, olive oil, oregano, thyme, fennel seed (to give it that Italian sausage taste), fresh basil, fresh parsley, black pepper on a hand made paleo roll. Ugga-Friggin’-Bugga!
Chili Dog (made from grass-fed beef) with organic mustard and organic kraut on an eggplant tortilla. Sounds weird but it was good. Not as satisfying as a homemade paleo bun, but still decent. The experiment I did last week of using a baked eggplant slice as a tortilla for tacos was so successful that I thought I’d try it as a hot dog bun. But I think the eggplant works better in a taco. Although the sweetness and soft texture of the eggplant made me remininscnet of baked beans, which of course go perfectly with hot dogs and chili, so this was a wonderful taste sensation. The problem was the eggplant fell apart, and I hate messy food. Still, I’ve been craving a chili dog, and this was very satisfying!
Should You Really Eat Like a Caveman? Elizabeth Kolbert on how the paleo diet got trendy—and its environmental costs.
If you’re like me, every time an article on paleo comes out, everyone you know sends it to you. Well, here’s another bullshit article on paleo, this time from the New Yorker. The writer admits she did a half-assed attempt at paleo for only a week, and fucked up her pancakes recipe, so she pisses on the whole diet. The fact that she says she only had a limited amount of things she was allowed to eat, and that the list of things she couldn’t eat was longer, makes me realize she has no fucking idea what she’s talking about. The amount of food available on paleo is ENDLESS! Every single vegetable and edible animal is available. Idiot.
Also, she did not mention organic food once! And the fact that she makes this statement, tells me once and for all to never read anything she ever writes again:
(Grass-fed beef—recommended by many primal enthusiasts—may produce lower emissions than corn-fed, but the evidence on this is shaky.)
I think the only thing shaky is her lazy research. The one thing she gets right is the history of agriculture. Other than that, this article is a bunch of cave-shit.
I hear so many people tell me they can’t do paleo because they don’t cook. I say there’s a simple solution: start cooking, you lazy bastard. The real answer is, “I WON’T cook.” At least I can respect the honesty in that answer. But even the most laziest of bastards will cook a little if it’s made easier for them. Here are some tips for that.
Shop at farmers markets and smaller health food stores. There are all kind of stores and farmers market vendors selling foods that are pre-made from real ingredients, unlike your typical frozen dinner. And these are local peeps, businesses you should be supporting, bringing fresh and real food to your table. For instance, at my Studio City farmers market there’s a vendor called Savour This Sauce. Yes, you guessed right, they make sauces. Great sauces. Vegan and gluten-free sauces and dressings. They buy all of their ingredients at the same farmers market where they sell, and it’s all organic (or at least made from ingredients that are grown with organic practices without the government red tape to get certified). These sauces, aside from a small amount of vinegar and salt, are 100% paleo, so if I didn’t want to cook a sauce from scratch, I could just buy a jar of theirs and my cooking time would be cut in half or more! You won’t find sauces like these in the huge traditional supermarket chains, you have to go to Whole Foods, or smaller health food markets or farmers markets. So if you won’t cook, change your store to make life easier on you. Some even have fully prepared meals that are pretty paleo, but you HAVE TO READ THE INGREDIENTS to make sure!
Visit organic salad bars. Most Whole Foods have organic salad bars, and you can buy some pre-chopped items for a stir fry. Take it home, throw it all together in a pan with a Savour This Sauce type of sauce, and with minimal effort, you’ve cooked a meal. It might even inspire you to buy a chef’s knife and do some chopping yourself.
Buy a crockpot. You can buy a package of organic chicken, get some pre-chopped veggies from the organic salad bar, throw it into a crock pot with some Savour This Sauce type of sauce, and in a few hours, you’ve cooked a meal! No, it’s not some crazy meal I’ve made with paleo coconut rice that you’re photographing for a blog, but it’s a meal, and a damn good one!
Join a service that sends you food that’s already chopped and measured, with simple cooking instructions. This is a bit pricey, but you can choose meals that are paleo-ish, and it’ll give you amazing confidence in the kitchen.
Cooking a simple meal successfully is a great motivator in trying more and more complicated dishes. But don’t feel you need to. Cooking a simple meal is greatly satisfying, even if it comes off a little… um… off. Trust me, you’ll find that after a while of making simple meals, you’ll grow more and more confident in the kitchen, and you’ll realize the only thing that stopped you from cooking before was the intimidation of not knowing. And by the way, cooking at home saves a TON of money, even if you’re buying organic. Happy cooking!
Sausage and Kale. I’ve made this one many times before using hot Italian sausage. I didn’t have any Italian sausage this time, so I used grass-fed beef bratwurst, and added red jalapeños for heat. Also with garlic, onions, and fresh basil.
Broiled grass-fed beef hot dogs with sautéed onions, jalapeños, and sauerkraut. All organic.
Eggplant as Taco Tortillas! I took my leftover Mexican beef stir fry mix (I added tomatoes too), and put it on top of a thick baked eggplant chip. Pick it up and eat it as a taco, or use a knife and fork, I won’t judge. Topped with some avocado, fresh cilantro, and a squeeze of lime. Ugga-Bugga!
Mexican Beef Stir Fry over Broccoli Rice.
I’m trying to eat more organ meat because it’s really good for you, but I’m just not thrilled with the taste. But I find when it’s ground, and mixed with ground beef (all grass-fed from Uncured Natural Meats in Wisconsin), it’s very tasty. This is a blend of ground beef, ground tongue, ground heart, and ground liver.
ground grass-fed beef (including ground organ meat)
red and green jalapeños
Paleo Potato Salad (made with Rutabaga)
I’m one of those paleo followers that don’t eat potatoes (white, sweet, red, etc), but I LOVE potato salad, especially in the summer time. My July 4th BBQ plate definitely felt empty without it, so I used my best potato substitute, rutabaga (a root vegetable that tastes like a cross between a potato and a turnip), and just made a simple classic potato salad recipe. It came out great! Pretty addictive if you ask me!
Paleo Potato Salad (because Rutabaga Salad doesn’t sound as appetizing)
Dice the rutabaga into bite-sized pieces, and place in a pot with cold water. Bring the water to a boil, and boil for about 10 minutes. Start testing it with a fork to see if the rutabaga is tender. Keep testing every minute or so for desired tenderness. Once done, drain rutabaga in a colander, and refrigerate. After it’s cool, mix all ingredients together and enjoy! If you want, add hard boiled egg too!
Grass-fed Bratwurst with Brussels Sprouts. I caramelized the sprouts in the fat of the brat in the same cast iron pan. Ugga-Bugga!
This is a great little summer meal. Some boneless skinless chicken thighs (organic, but not pasture-raised), covered in a Mexican dry spice rub, and grilled or pan-fried (about 5 minutes each side on medium high heat). Served with a cold cucumber noodle salad with some Mexican flare!
Mexican Dry Spice Rub
Mexican Cucumber Noodle Salad
I’ve been totally into cold cucumber salads for dinner this summer (all 9 days of it so far). I just sort of see what leftovers and items I have in the fridge and then try to compose a tasty dish (like Paleo Chopped with no time limits and no judges).
This was like a cold Thai Cucumber Salad, and it was freaking delicious!
Paleo is not just about eating real food, it’s a lifestyle to live more like the way our bodies were designed to live. Somehow over the years we lost our way with our designed diet, so those of us on paleo are trying to get back to a diet that fits human beings for optimum health.
Well, somewhere along the way, we changed the way we poop too. We used to squat, and the muscles and organs in our body would be in a optimal position to eliminate our waste. But over the course of civilization, we created outhouses, and toilets (not coincidentally by an Englishman named Thomas Crapper), and we lost our natural pooping way! I don’t think caveman had hemorrhoids, because squatting helps prevents them. Of course cavemen also didn’t have toilet paper, so it’s a trade off: no hemorrhoids, but a smelly itchy ass.
Well, today we can have our poop and wipe it too! Some of you know I’m a Howard Stern Superfan, and one of his main sponsors is Squatty Potty. All Squatty Potty is, is a plastic (or wooden) stool (pardon the pun), that allows you to keep our original cavemen squatting position, and still poop in the toilet. Here’s a 2 minute informational video from their website.
Pretty fascinating when you think about it. All our muscles and organs are in the right position for pooping when we squat! You eliminate more, and no more hemorrhoids or fissures. Very paleo if you ask me.
Now, I am NOT a shill for Squatty Potty! In fact, there’s no way I’m paying $25 for a piece of plastic to help me poop! But I did buy a $4 plastic stool from Target that is about the same height, and I started using it every time I went to make a #2 (We’re Number 2! We’re Number 2!). And it works! I took a trip to Cancun about 10 years ago, and had some mystery meat one night for dinner off a street vendor (I think it was goat). It was absolutely delicious, but it gave me the shits for about a month. After that month I developed a hemorrhoid, and have been suffering ever since. But after a couple of weeks of squatting, my hemorrhoid is gone, and my bowl overflows with joy (and poop)! I feel emptier than my iPhone battery after a 3 minute call!
So squat, or don’t, I really don’t give a shit, but trust me, if you squat, you’ll give more shit than you ever gave in your life. Happy Pooping! (Ugga-Poopa?)
So this is what 48 looks like on paleo… Wow. That’s an awfully big number. Thanks for all the birthday wishes from the ol’ Caveman.
Found some lovely baby Roma tomatoes at the farmers market, so I made some Paleo Pasta Pomodoro, with daikon noodles, and the last pathetic leaves from my dying basil plant (time to re-plant). Also in the dish are garlic, olive oil, and black pepper. A simple dish for sure. Click HERE for full recipe.